Thursday, 11 February 2010

Nocturnal Hustles

I have a new profession of making trips to the bathroom during the night.  It's my new vocation in life.  I wear myself out and no longer scoff at my parent's generation who used chamber pots, even though I don't think I could use them myself.  When there is one Shi Tzsu on the bed, I can make the trip, return, lift the mosquito net and face minimal puppy excitement before claiming my position and struggling with the sheet.  When there are two Shi Tzsus on the bed, one of them is determined to follow, prompting her sister to do likewise.  This poses a problem, in that while I am spending a penny or two, or simply 'tile-gazing', the puppies grow impatient and return to the bed, then to me. 

The Machinist appears, blinking at the kitchen light

Machinist: What are you doing up, Babe?

Me: the usual...

Machinist: Thats it.  These dogs are going to be outside in a kennel tomorrow night...

Me: why, what happened?

Machinist: I can't afford to be woken every night like this.  Nor can you. 

Me:  What is it?

Machinist: I was in a deep sleep, then suddenly, the mozzie net came crashing down.  One dog under, one dog on top.  They're gonna have to go out!

Me: ok (chuckling and making a dash for the bathroom)

7 comments:

ADRIAN said...

Only small dogs, a chamber pot each would maybe solve the problem.

Queen "B" said...

Aloha,
I can see your light on all the way from here...why? cause I'm up too on the same run...we should race?
Aloha hugs
Brandi

Alex said...

When you have to go, you have to go.

Vera said...

Midnight loo trips: squeeze and twist to get out of the caravan bed which has walls on three sides, plus Hubs in it as well. Gingerly put foot down on floor, trying to make sure Bools isn't stepped on. He sleeps in the narrow gangway on the getting out side of the bed. Carefully edge my way along passage, trying to avoid boots on floor, and Gussy. Into Loo. Job down. Now similar return. And all in the dark. It is a squeeze, us four in the caravan! But as has been mentioned, when you have to go you have to go. So by the time I get back into bed, Hubs decided it is his turn to go. So he repeats the above, plus rolling over me to get out of the bed. Sleeping and looing in a caravan is certainly a cosy crush.

matron said...

What is it about us ladies,that so many of us suffer this nocturnal plight.?
I combat it by not drinking anything after 7pm,if I do have to get up,I have to step over the dog who sleeps on the floor at the foot of the bed and will not move.I do have the luxury of having a loo attached to the bedroom,so I do not have far to go.
I do remember the difficulty I had with mosquito nets when we lived in Singapore,thank heavens I do not have to get tangled up in those now.!!

Ken Devine said...

Hi Helen
Yep! It's a feminine nocturnal activity for sure. It's funny that it's recognised the world over. Did you see our light on last night?
Have the dogs been evicted or was it just an idle threat?

The Machinist's Wife said...

Adrian, chamber pots indeed! Ha, I would probably fall over mine and create even more work for myself...

Brandi, I see your light and - race you!

Alex - wiser words never spoken

Vera - so very funny. I can relate, even thought we are in a house, not a caravan. The space in the bedroom and the manouvring is the same. Move and one of them wants to follow you. thing is, there is so much drama just to go to the loo, that when you are back in bed, you're wide awake.

Matron - At what point did all this night travel start? I just can't remember. Sometimes, I don't even have to drink. It's like the bottomless cup and it's ONLY at night. I can refrain all day, but bring on the night...?

Ken, I saw your light on last night, too. The Machinist remains in slumber. I could get strangled or anything. hee hee..And no, the dogs haven't been evicted, but what did I expect? Merely idle threats...