Sunday, 6 December 2009

Family Bonds

For most of their years, we've home educated the Young Adults (fondly known as the Ya-Ya's).  Neither the Machinist nor I are qualified teachers, yet believe that parents have a vested interest in their children and thereby can bring about a love of life and learning in each of them.  The transition from school educated to home educated wasn't always easy, but thoughts of self doubt -  thankfully - didn't last for long.  The exultation of living life together twenty four hours a day held us captive.  We have flirted between home, work and pleasure for the past 16 years and oftentimes, these aspects of life have blended into one.

It's strange, really, when you consider our varied backgrounds.  The Machinist is an only child, whose mother married thrice which resulted in traumatic and sometimes physically abusive relationships, neither of which were suitable to raise the Machinist in.  He therefore spent his young years with his Ouma and Oupa who loved and cared for him deeply and completely.  Nevertheless, his lonliness was always evident.  I, on the other hand, although being born into a larger family, still experienced this same lonliness.  My maiden family, to this day are dispersed over three continents. 

Perhaps this is why we both cherish the notion of family.

There comes a time, however, when the chickens need to explore out of the coop. This fact of nature is not easy for the Machinist and I.  The Ya Yas still live at home with us, we know that we truly have their hearts, yet their instrinsic destinies are calling them by invitation.

"All the more reason that you and I remain best friends, Babe", emphasises the Machinist.

And with tears in my eyes I respond "I know, Machinist.  I know..." as I consider the joy of my first-love.

8 comments:

FlowerLady said...

** There comes a time, however, when the chickens need to explore out of the coop. This fact of nature is not easy for the Machinist and I. The Ya Yas still live at home with us, we know that we truly have their hearts, yet their instrinsic destinies are calling them by invitation.

********************

"All the more reason that you and I remain best friends, Babe", emphasises the Machinist.

And with tears in my eyes I respond "I know, Machinist. I know..." as I consider the joy of my first-love.

****************************

That was absolutely beautiful! If you hadn't been loving best friends first, your ya-ya's wouldn't be the loving people they are. They will not forget the love, laughter and closeness of where they came from.

Not everyone is so blessed. You both gave your children what you did not have while you were growing up.

Bless your hearts, bless your love.

FlowerLady

matron said...

This is such a loving an touching post.I too came from a large family and yet was lonely,as we were not a happy family. Like you I put all my love into my own family and we have remained close,even though they have left home and have families of their own.I remember only too well the day my youngest left to go to England,I was heart broken and did not want her to go.My husband,in his wisdom said,let her go,don't make it hard for her,that way she will return.Wise words indeed because she got homesick,her relationship with her partner failed and she came home with the knowledge that we loved her and would not be critical of her.
Your YA-YA'S will thank you for letting them fly the coop,and never stop returning the love you have given them.

the watercats said...

I can only imagine the warfare that would break out in our house if I tried to home school the kid, we conflict over homework or teaching her to ride a pony is bad enough... my place is to tuck her into bed at night and be there for answers.. that's enough for me :-)

Ken Devine said...

If you have their hearts you have each other forever and will never feel alone... life gets sweeter and deeper because of it.

We would have liked the option to teach ours at home but as you know, it isn't possible in England. Fortunately they survived our crazy educational system with some real crackpot teachers.

I agree 100% with the best friends policy and continuing courtship throughout.

A very touching post.

@eloh said...

I also homeschooled.

I only wish I had been able to do it for all four of my children and not just the two youngest.

The differences are so much more than just a better education. A connection to the soul.

French Fancy said...

I think yours sounds such a lovely family unit and all the while the smell of pies cooking in the background. Don't disillusion me please,

How old are the Ya Ya's ?

The Machinist's Wife said...

Flowerlady - what a sweet blessing. The Machinist and I met in a small country town in South Africa when we were 14 turning 15. We're still best friends and I never have regretted marrying him. You're right; we try to give our children what we lacked, except materialistically.

Matron - we are fortunate to have wise husbands to keep us 'well grounded', yes? We women so often act on our heart without thinking logically. I'm so pleased that your daughter has returned because she longed for you. Oh, and with such a beautiful home as yours, who wouldn't?

Watercats, - I've always believed that parents have far more influence and 'clout' than they think. I hope your girl shows you that real soon. xx

Ken, I know what you mean about the crazy education system - that's why we took ours out. Fortunately, homeschooling is allowed in England now. I'm so pleased to hear it. Thanks for the encouragement in keeping their hearts.

Eloh - you're right about homeschooling - it's not just education, there's so much more. To be honest, "education" wasn't high on our priority list, but more character building and to instill a love of learning. Hard work, daily work, but well worth it. I see it doesn't stop when they get old, either...

FF - Thanks for the compliments on my family unit. Not pies, but cakes and soon - the test kitchen for breads (high protein) AND pies, but that needs to happen in the commercial kitchen where I hope to (ahem) not be disturbed...

Martyn Findley said...

Our eldest two are eleven and fourteen and have just returned to school after having been homeschooled for three years.

The school looked down their noses at us when I first tried to register them but I had to smile when after having been tested they were both placed in the top groups for everything!

Our four will flee the nest one day. I am dreading it in one way and will be so proud in others.

Good blog: will link to it.